Today my therapist mentioned how scary ego death can be. This after I told him how I had shared a passage by Thich Nhat Hanh with my morning meditation group. Here it is in part:
...in our former lives we were trees. This is not just Buddhist; this is scientific. The human species...appeared on the earth only recently. Before that, we were rock, we were gas, we were minerals, and then we were single-celled beings. We were plants, we were trees, and now we have become humans. We have to recall our past existences. This is not difficult. You just sit down and breathe and look...
One member of the group astutely inferred that self-identification does not travel from life to life. A tree-self is certainly nothing like a human self. Reincarnation therefore is not a continuation of the ego but of life energy, disturbing as this may be to the majority of us who have either never considered that the "self" is not a real thing, or struggle with letting go of that self.
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I try to remember to notice - instead of identifying with - those frightening feelings that come upon me, and to look for their origins. I found a talk this morning - when I awoke at 3am - and learned most people's primal fear is isolation or death. And the path away from fear is letting go of attachment to self.
Is it possible to live in a fairy tale house, develop one's creative mind, seek love and companionship, and truly let go of self? In other words, can a fully-in-the-world human expand his or her perspective to encompass and connect with the vast timelessness of the universe? I think so.
The other day, during my visit to Charleston, Anabel and I were discussing men (of course) and concluded we cannot presuppose where any particular relationship may go. The only sane way forward is to cultivate a sense of wonder so as to experience the magic of each moment. With this attitude, anything is possible in love, life, and death.
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